Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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