This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
