he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
