i'm signing you up for texting rehab
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
