who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
