Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
