Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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