You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
