eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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