He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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