After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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