You smell like a Billy Joel song
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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