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I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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