we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
