Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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