I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
