If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
