So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
