no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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