Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
