Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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