halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
