i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
