6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
