how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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