There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
