Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
