Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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