If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
