I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
