Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There r osticjed everywhere
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
