id be glad to
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
