what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
