A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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