she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
