im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
