why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
