Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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