Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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