hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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