I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
