I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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