i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
