I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
