Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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