that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Randomize
