Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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