I can tuck mytits in my pants
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
