If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
