I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
